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  • Will


In 2011, I began learning filmmaking.. Okay, who gives a shit.

In 2017, for the first time I Directed an official Music Video for an original song. 6 Years after I began in school. Let me check my own math on that.... yup, I got the same thing.

In 2019, I Directed my 4th Official Music Video. And it was pretty decent. So decent I decided that maybe I could make a career out of this.

So, here's what I did.....: I changed my name to Will, created a Facebook and Instagram page for Will Reasoner, the Music Video Director. Created a Website, slapped all 4 of my mediocre music videos on the work page, I gave the domain server one hundred fifty of my dollars, which at the time was approximately 99 to100% of my dollars if I'm doing those calculations correctly.

My plan was to go to the Facebook pages of every music venue within a 500 mile radius (Which in Missouri isn't as many as you'd think) and take down a list of every musical artist performing there before and after the date I looked. I then started tracking down each and every one of those artists and sending them Emails, FB messages, Insta messages, hell, I sent some of them snapchats.

In 3 months, I had contacted over 600 different artists...

I've received exactly 2 responses since...

I remember one of them verbatim, it said "No", that was his exact words. The other I'm a little fuzzy on but it was something like "Oh, this is very interesting tell me more hehehehehehe" Or, I don't know some nice shit like that. I still know the girl to this day and she's always so over the top positive like that, it drives me crazy.

It took several more months before I had actually set up a meeting with her and her band. That meeting, low and behold, I swear to God this is true was the EXACT week, I think the exact day that most of the country began to go on lockdown due to the 2020 Pandemic. I remember that day seeing the photo of the 405 in Los Angeles with exactly one vehicle on the road, and that's normally super busy, so...

Listen, the empty freeway is symbolic of all of my music video leads totally drying up and nothing ever working out for me no matter what I do, every single thing that could ever possibly go wrong does every single time.

So in 2020 I directed one music video, and that was in December.. My goal was 10.. That's nine less than my goal. That made only 5 total in 3 years.

Hold on... Yep, all that math seems to line up.

But in 2021 those numbers changed a little, I shot Music Videos in New York, LA, Chicago, St. Louis . And on paper, that all sounds great but in reality I was broke, a couple of the artists I worked with did not take music seriously at all and it had me burying my face in my hands thinking ,"What the hell am I doing, here?"

Imposter syndrome and this complex of feeling incredibly small in the world at the same time kind of came over my life.

I'm sitting in an Air bnb in Manhattan, New York. Watching local New York news by myself in an especially modest room, not even one hooker in the room with me and zero cocaine on the table and this was not how I imagined it. Its cold, there are surprisingly fewer people around than I expected, the artist I'm working for is just an amateur with a lot of money to spend.

But in the room, there's this huge window that definitely opens and there's absolutely nothing obstructing it inside or out. So, you know, who knows maybe I trip and fall out of this high story window. What's funny is I actually asked the manager if I could take some photos on the roof and he said "NO! Too many people go up there just to jump off."

So I Said.. "Oooooookay.. I'll just go back up to my room... .... .... On the 11th floor.... .... ..... With a huge wide open window..."

And he said ,"Whatever.." He didn't give a shit as long as he wasn't liable.

So that whole thing was super depressing.

So now its 2022 and my whole plan has changed. This time I'm just gonna do all the exact same things but this time in LA. And if my math is correct which so far it has been, it should definitely not work, because of course it won't. But.... you know, I just keep fucking trying. That's what makes me different than everyone else who gave up at 25, took a straight job, got married to someone who loves the shit out of them and ended up ridiculously happy. Yeah... They'll be sorry next year when I'm shooting a shitty music video for a white sound cloud rapper out of my van down by the creek.

But seriously, all pessimism aside. I got really high the other day (I'm not at all now, I promise) and I really put my career into perspective. If you ignore the disparities in numbers, I've actually done pretty well. I've placed my name under the Director's credit on several good music videos and I've made quite a bit of money. I've become associated with higher-level talents than I ever could of dreamed I would of by now, and I've traveled all over and met all kinds of interesting people.

From here, it could go really, really poorly. Or it could go really, really well.

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